New to the site, not to to The Morningstar Saga. Picked up a pen the other day, started to write, thought I would share a little of what I have so far, maybe get some opinions.
I lay in the dark, the only sound the rain lightly pattering against the window. Dark except for the sliver of moonlight that peeks through the clouds. And even then the only light in the room is what moonlight can make it through the boards on the window. The room dark otherwise, the power hasn’t worked in over a week now. It wasn’t so bad then, even the fear seemed better. Wasn’t so engulfing, we could turn the light on at night. Now, the only light we have is during the day, when the sun is out.
When the night comes, so comes the fear, the dread of what’s out there. What is out there wandering through the night, searching for others like us. What I wouldn’t give to wake up from this nightmare. Only I’m not sleeping, not dreaming. Wanting to turn the channel, turn this movie off. That won’t work though, this is reality, and this is real life. This is a nightmare come to life. Real blood isn’t like the movies. The feel of blood, the sight, the smell of it. You can’t smell blood in the movies. That coppery smell of your life, as it pools around you. Nothing that has happened is like the movies, nothing can prepare you for this. All the talk of ‘what if’ this happens isn’t like this. Nothing can prepare you for the paralyzing fear that grips you. The want, no the NEED to survive, it's a fierce feeling of survivor. Knowing you will do anything possible to make that happen.
You look at those unaffected yet, with mistrust, with fear, with hate. Do you help them? Do you take the chance of putting yourself in their company only to have them turn? You only want to trust those that were with you when it started. For at least you know as long as they are with you, in your sight then you KNOW they are ok. That for now, they are safe to be around, that they won’t turn in the middle of the night. That you won’t wake and have them over you, blood dripping from their eyes, the smell of copper, of rot already starting. You won’t wake with their teeth against your skin. Or feel the pressure as they bite into you, as they began to eat your flesh. Or hear their teeth grinding against your bone as they rip you apart. I have this nightmare every night, always afraid that when I wake, it won’t be a dream. But will be happening for real.
He was out of my sight yesterday for a few hours, surveying things, doing a small run to get supplies. I checked his body when he got home. There were no scratches, no bites, but how do I know for sure? How can I trust anything, or anyone? He looks at me with hungry eyes. Or is that just me being paranoid? I need to still trust him. We need to trust each other to stay alive, to survive this madness. I need to sleep, to stay strong. I want to live, want the both of us to live. My eyes feel so heavy, so grainy, they hurt I’m so tired. I look over at him, lying next to me. He looks so sweet, so innocent in his sleep, so peaceful like there is nothing wrong. Can I trust him to fall to sleep next to him? I feel his arm tighten up around me, as he pulls me next to him. Can feel him breathing against the back of my neck and I hold my breath. Waiting for what is to come. He kisses my neck in his sleep, murmuring my name softly. I relax against him, can’t fight sleep. I fall to sleep in his arms, for the moment feeling safe, listening to the rain and far away, someone screaming.