Charlie & The Zombie Factory
Rewritten by Nicholas Swendsen
“Well whats wrong with him?” Wonka was in the infirmary of his factory where two very sick Oompa Loompas lay on cots surrounded by walls covered in candy flavored wall paper. Wonka adjusted his purple suit and checked the time, his five special guests would be arriving soon and a delay is not what Wonka liked.
“They are the testers for the new regenerating chocolate bar. After they ate it the packing did its job and regenerated another chocolate bar to replace the other but these two started feeling sick.” The medical Oompa said waddling between the beds.
“Just keep your eyes on them.” Wonka turned on his heel and walked out the door while the doctor checked the vitals of the two.
“They’re dead.” The doctor hung his head. He had seen a few Oompa go since they came to this factory, accidentally boilings and meltings of the Oompa were quite common. And more than once had one of the golden egg laying goose pecked the eyes out of an Oompa. But as he pulled the sheets up over the first Oompa its eyes opened and a growl emitted.
“It’s almost time Grandpa. I can’t wait any longer!” young Charlie Bucket yelled holding his Grandpa Joe’s hand.
Media were gathered outside the Wonka Factory cameras flashing as the front door creeped open. And an aging man in an orange top hat feebly stepped out using a cane for support. Half way down the carpet he trips and falls as the crowd gasps in horror, but the man nimbly rolls and jumps to his feet hat in hand and a cheerful smile on his face.
“Welcome! Welcome!” The gates magically open as Wonka places his hat once more on his head. “Now where are my five ticket winners!”
“Me first!” The spoiled rotten Veruca Salt pushes past the others her rollie-pollie father following. She holds out her hand as her father tried to play some business on Wonka.
“Now me!” Violet, the little gum-snapping teeny booper also pushes herself forward quoting gum chewing records as Wonka faked a charming smile. Her father the car dealer trying to pester Wonka into buying a car.
Augustus Gloop, name-sake withholding steps forward thumbs in his suspenders and chocolate already on his face. He was just waiting to sink his teeth into the factory. His slightly larger mother waddles behind.
Mike TV plays with his toy guns, his cowboy hat tilted on his head. Mother in pursuit behind as the boy mutters something about hoping there was tv in there.
Charlie watches the four with digust on his face, how dare they act such a way in front of such a great man. He looks at his grandpa Joe who shakes his head, “Those are some bad apples Charlie.”
“Please, please follow me, ticket winners and family members only!” Wonka shouts turning on his heel and wiping his hand off on his coat from Augustus’s sticky paw. As the ten people shuffle in behind him the gate closes on the pushing mob of media and on lookers.
“Right this way now.” Wonka holds open the front door for the crowd and slamming it shut behind him and smiling widely at the group. “First some paperwork then! I’m sure someone of you know all about it. Children please.” Wonka motions to a giant roll of paper with writing that got gradually so small you could barely see it.
All the children take time to sign the paper and Wonka double checks before looking up with a smile. “Alright let the tour begin!” He taps three times with his cane then begins to precede down a hallway the other ten nervously following suit.
“Its getting smaller!” Mike TV’s mother shouts as everyone has to crouch down to almost a laying down position. Where could this mighty peculiar hallway lead?
Wonka turns with a wacky smile and holds up a key, “Beyond this door is a land of imagination.”
“We can’t fit through there.” Veruca complains cheek against the ceiling.
Wonka just smiles and turns to unlock the door pushing it open. As everyone squeezes through the suddenly larger door they gasp at the room beyond. Sure, there was trees with gumdrops, and edible pumpkins and grass, but crimson sprayed across the deliciously sweet room. Tiny bodies of little men lay everywhere, there orange flesh covered in blood. Green hair was matted with blood.
On top of these bodies sat other little men chewing on tiny intestine and stomachs. Twenty or so dozen little heads turned toward the eleven humans standing on the stairs and opened gaping maws.
“What are those things?” Charlie yelled clutching onto Grandpa Joe.
“Oompa Loompa’s, from.. From…” Wonka stuttered as the things charged the stairs, “We must get to the boat!
Wonka bolts down the stairs, charging their taffy laden bushes as his guests follow in hot pursuit. Augustus and his mother fall behind shuffling their wide asses behind them in almost comical fashion shouting and screaming at each other.
“Whats happening?” Wonka shouts at the captain of the boat who shakes his head in terror as wonka helps the others clamber aboard. Augustus and his mother were feet away when a simplified Oompa Loompa takes the mother out at the knees chewing into her celluloid covered thigh. Her arms swing and smacks Augustus in the leg tripping him up and into the murky chocolate river, where Oompa Loompas drive in after in hot pursuit.
“Get this boat moving!” Wonka shouts as the paddle boat pulls away from the shore teeming with dozens of the zombie loompas.
“Wonka what is this crap!” Vercua’s father shouts as the boat turns lazily in the river.
“Daddy look!” Violet shouts pointing at a long tube that had been pumping chocolate and how had a two hundred plus pound human plug moving up it at slow speed. As the group watched the chocolate below it began to churn with orange and green hair.
“Oh my god!” Grandpa Joe shouted as the teeming creatures started feasting on Augustus’s plump bum turning the building chocolate into a blood mixed frenzied. As the pressure released meat and blood sprayed the top of the tube before being washed by chocolate.
“Lets get moving captain!” The boat turns from the ghastly site and pulls down the river.
“Wonka what the hell is going on!?” Grandpa Joe shouted the as the boat entered a tunnel and began to pick up speed.
“I don’t know.” Wonka stuttered holding his head in his hand. “Stop at the invention room we should be all right there.”
“We need to call the police or somebody!” Charlie says hugging his Grandpa Joe’s arm tight.
“We need to get to my office to do that.” Wonka points out.
“Well lets get there.” Mike TV’s mom yells out.
The boat comes to an abrupt stop at a door way with a singular light over it. Wonka steps off holding his cane up as he cracks the door. He sighs a breath of relief and opens the door fully the others following suit as the boat captain takes off. Wonka walks to the machine, “Anyone want something to eat, it is a gum that gives you the full meal!” Wonka smacks a button the machine begins to bleep and blurp.
“Gum? That’s my specialty!” Violet shouts marching up to Wonka, almost seeming unfazed by the prior events in the exploration of new gum.
Wonka smiles and hands her the piece, when she snatches and begins to munch away on. She explains the warmth and taste of the food, just as banging starts on a door to the side. She yelps, almost swallowing the gum as the others back away.
“What way to your office Wonka!?” The rolly-polly father of Veruca yells out and Wonka points to a doorway.
Violet yells as she begins to blow up, “Daddy whats going on?” Her father runs to her side as she slowly grows past the size of the deceased Augustus and his mother combined turning bright violet and unable to move.
“This way!” Wonka yells running through a double door as the side door bursts open and a dozen little demonized loompas charge through the door toward the unmoving Violet and her father trying to push her. As they hit the girl she rolls over her father crushing him to death.
Violet screams as they snap into her undefended flesh red and blue blood and juice combining in a violet mix over the zombie oompas. Charlie looks back in horror as Wonka slams the double door shut. Wonka runs, passing a room with bubbles all floating up.
“Wonka can we escape through there?” Grandpa Joe shouts stopping at the door. But his question is answered as above ten floating zombie loompas snarl down at him, as one paws at him from the air its head floatings into the fan covering it with bit of orange flesh and bloody bone. “Go Charlie go!”
They pass walls of wall paper with the look of fruit, almost holding hands. Vercua and her father turn a corner in fear and run through a door into a room with two dozen large white goose. They stop looking at them, realizing there is a zombie loompa watching them from the corner. The gasp and go to back out to be blocked by two of the geese. The hold together backing toward the center of the room. All the geese they realize have blood matting their feathers.
“Daddy, I don’t want any of these geese!” Vercua shouts the wild birds charge squaking and screeching pecking the two to a violent and bloody death.
Charlie, Mike, Grandpa Joe, Mike’s Mom and Wonka barrel into the white-wash room. The door to the office sitting on the other side. In between them sits three zombie oompas in their white suits, with bite marks all over their bodies. They turn toward the intruders snarling.
“Get them onto that platform!” Wonka shouts running to a control panel followed by Charlie and Grandpa Joe. “Mike if you want to be on tv get over there!
Mike smiles, thinking he can be like his cowboy heroes, he runs toward the platform the three zombie loompas running after him. His mother screams and follows trying to fend off the creatures. Wonka beats off a zombie loompa from nowhere with his cane. He growls and hit’s a button and the dish above hums and sprays the area Mike and the zombies stand. They disappear, and Wonka glances at the tv next to them where they all appear in miniature form Mike running from the miniscule zombies before they run him down and his little blood spruts over the clean white table.
“You used him as bait!” Grandpa Joe shouts.
“To my office, we can escape!” Wonka bolts to the other door cracking it before moving in.
“Slug are you in here?” Wonka throws off his coat, showing a bloody hand as he passes his half desk, everything in the office all in half. “Where are you?”
“Wait Slugswurth? I thought you were enemies.” Charlie said eyeballing the crazy old man.
“No, I’ve been buying stock from Slugswurth to keep my company afloat for years now.” Wonka said opening a door and almost being ambushed by the simplified Slugswurth. He yells and shoves the man back darting to a door and disappearing into it.
Charlie and Grandpa Joe follow the door closing behind them just as the glass elevator shoots high into the sky. Wonka pants dropping low as they fly above the factory over the heads of the media and others watching from below.
“Now what do we do Wonka?” Grandpa Joe asks looking at the now older looking man, Joe squints his eyes, “Wonka?”
Wonka looks up, with yellowish eyes and snarls.